


Lost Myself in You

by Paynlinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A hint of smut, Bottom Niall, Christmas fic, M/M, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-01 13:46:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2775245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paynlinson/pseuds/Paynlinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry would do anything to make his and Niall's first Christmas magical.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Myself in You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Krank](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krank/gifts).



The wind whipped furiously on the cold December mornings. Cars zoomed by ,causing a slight chill that made Harry pull his jacket tighter around his form. His fingers laced with the boy he'd loved since grade school.

Niall was a dreamer, to say the least. That was one of the things that attracted Harry to him. His ambition and his dreams were the motivation for how he lived his life. Sure he didn't have much but what he lacked in finances he made up for in spirit.

Harry met Niall when he was 6 years old. He remembers when Niall walked into the class, wide eyed and smiling brightly. He waved at everyone as the teacher introduced him. His accent was much thicker then, having come fresh out of Mullingar. The teacher sat him next to Harry, and smiled at him brightly. 

"Wanna share crayons?" He asked Harry, so much excitement in his voice that Harry couldn't say no even if he wanted to.

Since then they had been inseparable, moving in together at just 17 years old and becoming a couple at 20. The year they'd been together was anything but easy, but they made it work. Being fresh out of uni with barely any work experience was more difficult than they imagined but they knew they could get through it, as long as they had each other. 

The flat they moved into was tiny, with one bedroom and a kitchen that was barely big enough to house the stove and refrigerator at the same time. The carpet was old and worn, an ugly beige colour, and the walls were an odd shade of white. They had a large mattress that they shared, but no frame to put it on. Not that they minded much. The flat wasn't ideal but it was theirs. It was theirs together.

"Harry look!" Niall shouted, pulling him from his thoughts. Niall tugged his hand and pulled him to the window of the local Christmas shop. 

The window was frosted to replicate snow, lined with an assortment of lights and coloured garland. In the middle of the display stood a little tree, full and thick, decorated with various round ornaments and sparking white lights. The tree was topped with a star, silver and gold with white lights adorning the perimeter. They had added more decorations from the last time they saw it.

"It's beautiful" Niall said in awe.

The first time they had seen the tree, he remembers how Niall's entire face lit up like that of a child who's been given a huge lolli. It was bare then, only minimal lights and the odd ornament here and there. Niall stared at it for what felt like hours, his lips parted in awe and a smile on his face. Harry decided it was the cutest thing he'd ever seen. 

Harry smiled sadly at his boyfriend, knowing how badly Niall wanted that tree. 'It's our first official Christmas together, we have to have a tree' Niall had exclaimed the first time they saw it.

"Niall.." Harry spoke carefully, his thumb brushing over the gloved hand that was in his own

"I know we can't afford it but.. It looks so beautiful. It would be perfect next to our tele" Niall spoke, his blue eyes wide with excitement and a bit of sadness. Harry hated when Niall was sad. Someone like Niall should never experience sadness.

"Maybe next year love" Harry said, ghosting his fingers over the small of his back.

Niall sighed, but nodded in agreement. His fingers tightened around Harry's and the walked on, occasionally glancing back at the store front. Harry felt his heart get heavy at the thought of not being able to give Niall everything he wanted.

'Pay rent or buy the tree' was the argument in Harry's head. Ever since he had lost his job, Niall had to pick up double and triple shifts just to make ends meet. It was difficult being fresh out of uni with barely any life skills. How they managed was a miracle alone.

"I have to go to work" Niall said quietly, glancing over at Harry for a brief second before turning his gaze back to the cement.

"Oh.. Another double?" Harry asked, a lump beginning to form in his throat

Niall nodded, fixing his jacket with his free hand. "I'll be home around midnight maybe" 

Harry hated that Niall had to support them totally. He felt completely useless and it hurt him to know that the man he loved was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Harry remembers nights where Niall would sit and stare at the pile of bills stacked on the small dining room table and cry. Harry felt partially responsible, being that a good part of those bills were his own.

"I love you" Niall breathed out, placing a soft kiss to Harry's cheek before running off toward the metro stop. 

Harry sighed to himself, glancing back at the storefront. Without a second thought, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and hit talk once he reached he number he needed.

"Hey, it's me. I need your help"

 

~~~  
Every walk into town with Niall, required a stop to look at the little tree that adorned the window. And with every surprised breath Niall made, Harry felt his heart sink further into his stomach. 

"I wish we could get a tree that nice" Niall said, tearing his eyes away from the bright colorful lights for a second to look at Harry, only to turn back toward it.

"We will one day Nialler." Harry replied, resting his head on Niall's shoulder.

Niall smiled at him, placing a kiss on his temple before turning away from the shop window. Grabbing Harry's hand, they continued their walk to the park for their lunch date.  
~~~

Niall glanced at the window to the storefront that they had passed many times in the prior weeks. He stopped suddenly, causing Harry to tug his hand.

"It's gone" Niall said, his voice sounding low and almost broken

"What is?" Harry asked quizzically

"The tree. It's gone" Niall spoke again, tugging back Harry back to the small shop's window.

"Oh.. I guess someone finally bought it" Harry said. 

He saw the sadness in Niall's eyes and he felt his stomach churn. He hated seeing Niall sad. It was one of the worst things to witness. Watching his sparkling eyes dim and his bright smile fall from his face. His shoulders slouching and his hands being pushed into his pockets. It was tragic to watch honestly.

Niall let out a heavy sigh, the sadness still very evident on his face, and looked up at Harry. "Maybe they'll have another one next year"

Harry nodded, placing a comforting hand on his boyfriends shoulder. "I'm sure they will babe."

Harry felt his heart drop with every step they took. The somber look stayed etched on Niall's face the whole way to the tiny flat.

Unlocking the door, Niall toed his shoes off and without a word, went to lay on the bed. Harry called after him, only to be ignored. The door to the bedroom shut and Harry sighed, plopping down on the ugly couch his mum gave them as a housewarming present. Harry ran his hands over his face and through his hair, staring at the wall blankly.

 

Harry always felt as if Niall secretly resented him for them not having money. He's tried to find a job after the previous one, but with no such luck. He can see the stress it puts on him and it breaks Harry's heart to know he can't do anything to help Niall out more. He feels so worthless sometimes, but he promised himself he's going to make it up to Niall no matter what it takes. 

~~  
Harry stood outside Niall's work, pacing back and forth a bit. The wind was biting at his cheeks, causing them to become red and sting. His lips became chapped and he made a promise to himself that when he got money, him and Niall would move to somewhere warmer.

"What are you doing here" A voice called, pulling him back to the present moment.

Niall's eyes looked bright, but tired and his body seemed slouched. He didn't deserve this. He was too young to be working this much, it wasn't fair.

Harry shook the frown off his face, replacing it with a beaming smile. "It's Christmas Eve. So I thought I'd walk you home"

Niall eyed Harry suspiciously, his eyes scanning his boyfriends face. "What did you do Harry?"

Harry gasped in mock offence. "Can't I just want to walk my darling boyfriend home on Christmas Eve?"

Niall eyed him again before laughing and walking over, placing his hands on Harry's waist and brushing his lips against his.

Niall's kisses always made Harry warmer. The first time they kissed had been back when Harry was feeling homesick, trapped in their tiny apartment with barely enough money to pay the phone bill. 

Harry had spent the day crying, wistful and sad and missing his mum. Niall was exactly what he needed, offering a comforting smile and a hug that made Harry feel not so alone. He doesn't remember how it led to the kiss, all he remembers was the feeling of letting go. Like nothing mattered in that moment but him and Niall. He felt his skin prickle and his brain cloud over. 

"Come on, let's go home yeah" Harry said against Niall's soft lips.

Harry didn't want to pull away. He could kiss Niall forever if the opportunity presented itself, but he's sure snogging outside Niall's job was definitely not a good idea.  
~  
The walk home was comfortably silent, their fingers entwined and a pleased smile on Niall's face. Their hands swung contently as a light snow began to fall around them.

They reached their flat a few minutes later and Harry reached in his pocket, fishing out his keys to unlock the door.

Niall walked in behind harry, dropping his bag and gasping as he saw the scene in front of him.

Liam and Louis were fussing with each other over the proper way to hang the lights over the railing of the blinds while Zayn added the finishing touches to the garland hanging in front of the breakfast nook.

"What's all this then" Niall asked, surprised evident in his voice.

"I'm giving you the perfect first Christmas together" Harry said, smiling and wrapping his arms around Niall's thin waist.

Niall glanced at him in shock then back at the scene in front of him. His eyes scanned the room quickly, stopping on the tree in the corner by the tele.

"Harry you.."

Harry smiled, remembering how he called Louis and practically begged him to help him buy the little tree that Niall had his eye on since late November. It didn't take much convincing of course, Louis would do anything to make Niall happy much in the same way Harry would.

"Harry how" Niall asked, gawking at Harry. His mouth was agape and his eyes looked on the brim of tears.

"I had a little help. But it's the tree you wanted and I had to get it for you." Harry spoke carefully, hoping Niall wouldn't get angry

The tree looked even more perfect in their little living room, decorated nearly the same as in the store with personalised ornaments that Niall and Harry gave each other throughout the course of their friendship. Under it were an assortment of colourful gifts, bows placed neatly on top.

"Oh Harry" Niall said, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck and kissing him deeply.

Harry smiled against Niall's lips, resting his hands on the small of Niall's back, thumbing small patters against his skin that was exposed by his shirt riding up.

"Alright enough you two, I'm gonna be sick" Louis said, faking a gag

Niall pulled away, blushing brightly with a wide smile on his face, and Harry decided he never wanted that smile to leave.   
~

The night was filled with obnoxious laughter, drunken carolling, Liam burning the cookies, horrible take away, neighbours threatening to call the cops and Louis falling asleep on the counter. Harry hasn't seen Niall this happy in a while and he was determined to make sure he always stayed this happy.

The night was winding down, Zayn saying he had to return to Perrie and Liam dragging Louis out, wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and Louis mumbling something that could be "don't wanna leave". Soon the flat was empty beside Harry and Niall curled on the couch, finishing the last of their egg nog and giggling like children at old memories.

"So whatdya say? Was it a good Christmas Eve?" Harry asked, his fingers ghosting over the nape of Niall's neck and playing with the fine hairs.

Niall hummed and smiled "It was perfect, thank you so much. But how did you get the money"

"Don't worry about it." Harry cut him off, resting his chin on Niall's shoulder "Just enjoy it, we'll worry about the finances later. Right now let's just enjoy it, yeah?"

Niall nodded and places his lips against Harry's gently. Harry breathed in slowly, kissing Niall back and playing with the hair on his neck. 

Niall tangled his fingers in Harry's hair, climbing into his lap and straddling him carefully. Harry trailed his hands down Niall's frame, resting on Niall's waist. The kiss deepened instantly, Niall licking into Harry's mouth and nibbling on his bottom lip causing a groan to rise in Harry's throat and his fingertips to press into Niall's skin. 

Niall rolled his hips against Harry's, moaning low in his throat, his hands moving to Harry's shoulders to steady himself. Niall was already half hard in his trousers and Harry felt his skin heating up more with every movement Niall made. 

Harry slid his hands up Niall's shirt, feeling the way Niall's stomach contracted under his hands. His lips trailed down to Niall's neck as he lifted the shirt off of Niall's thin body. 

Niall was definitely fit, his milky skin begging to be marked and the slightest outline of abs on his stomach. Harry nipped at Niall's neck, sucking on the spot he knew drove Niall crazy. Niall gasped as Harry's teeth sank into his skin, his fingers digging further into Harry's shoulder as he rocked his hips against his boyfriend.

"Niall, I'm" Harry gasped out, a telltale sign that he was close.

Niall nodded quickly, stilling his hips trying to gain back some of his composure. He rested his forehead against Harry's, his blue eyes wide and darkened and Harry felt like his heart could explode with everything he feels for this boy.

"I love you" Harry breathed out, a shiver running through Niall's body as Harry's fingers trailed up every notch of his spine.

Niall dipped in, kissing Harry again. It wasn't nearly as gentle as the first time. This one was filled with more desire and hunger and a need that Harry has seen many times before, but somehow always felt so incredibly new.

Soon clothes were scattered around the living room, the only sounds were that of soft Christmas music and Niall's breathing mixing delightfully with Harry's. Niall sank slowly down on Harry's cock, his back arching as Harry held him close. His hips rocked up to match Niall's, low throaty groans falling from his throat.

"Fuck, Harry" Niall moaned out loudly, rising and falling quickly on Harry. 

Harry felt his body flush and his heart speed up rapidly. Everything felt too much and not enough, much like it always was with Niall. He was definitely the best in bed Harry's ever experienced and he's more than happy to let Niall know that.

Harry's hand slid between them, wrapping around Niall's cock and stroking in time with his thrusts. The sound of Niall's soft whimpers and their skin slapping against each other's was almost enough to push Harry over the edge. Harry circled a thumb over Niall's leaking tip and his hips sputtered. His fingernails sank further into Harry's shoulder, leaving crescent shaped marks that would definitely turn to bruises by morning.

With one final, sharp thrust, Niall came hard. His hips stilled as hot, white stripes splattered across Harry's hand and chest. The grip of Niall around him pushed Harry over the edge and he spilled into the condom, his head falling on Niall's shoulder.

They laid in silence, trying to catch their breath as the sound of Silver Bells play faintly in the background. Harry ghosted his fingers over Niall's sweaty skin, tracing ever mark he saw.

"I love you Harry" Niall mumbled, half asleep.

Harry hummed quietly, his eyes struggling to stay open. Soon enough small snores filled his ears and that was enough to lull him to sleep.  
~

Harry was awoken by the sound of the door opening and multiple loud voices filling his ears.

"We come baring gifts! Rise and- dear god their naked!" Louis voice boomed loudly through the small flat.

Niall mumbled against Harry's neck, turning toward the door and falling off Harry's lap.

"Jesus Christ do you pricks knock?" Niall said, grabbing his trousers from the floor to cover himself and darting into the bedroom.

Harry chuckled, shimmying his pants on and pulling his trousers up. "You lot should learn to knock" 

"Whatever, it's Christmas" Zayn said, breezing past Harry to head into the kitchen.  
~

The day is spent with the lads, opening presents; Harry got Niall a silver ring, to match his own and Niall got Harry a new pair of boots, and drinking pints while watching football. The lads left around half 11 at night and Harry settled into bed next to Niall.

"This was honestly the best Christmas I've ever had. Thank you Harry" Niall said, facing his boyfriend.

Harry smiled, placing a soft kiss on Niall's lips and resting a hand on Niall's cheek. Niall hummed against his lips and pulled away, curling into Harry's neck.

"Merry Christmas Harry" Niall mumbled tiredly

"Merry Christmas Nialler" Harry replied, running a hand up and down Niall's back soothingly.

Harry listened while Niall's breath evened out, signifying he had fallen asleep. Harry placed a kiss on Niall's forehead before settling in and closing his eyes, thinking about how well this turned out. 

They may not have the most ideal life, or financial situation but they make it work. They make the best of it because they love each other and Harry always wants to keep the smile on Niall's face. This was the happiest he'd seen Niall in a while and he was determined to make sure that happiness never went away.

**Author's Note:**

> So this was for the fic exchange and I hope you like it darling :)


End file.
